Let it snow

It snowed again last night. There is something so peaceful about waking up to a fresh blanket of fluffy white snow. Everything seems quieter, softer and crisp. As much as I am not a huge fan of snow...I think I am going to miss it. Not the everyday snow like we have gotten the last two nights. I am going to miss the blizzards that we get every couple of years, the ones that shut the town down and you stay inside and watch movies all day. Now I know it snows on occasion in Seattle, but is has nothing on the snow we get here in Denver.

My stuff is gone

I had a bit of a freak out about the move this week...well maybe it was more of a full blown panic attack. I was this close to pulling the plug on my moving to Seattle with Boyfriend. While talking me down Jenn made the point that I have this nasty habit of sabotaging a situation when I get scared. It is easy for me to say I am going to do something, but is quite another when I actually have to put my money where my mouth is. It still has not hit me that one month from today I will be moving away from everything I know. Boyfriend left for Seattle with all of our stuff this morning. I guess this is something I am really going through with. It is not like I could back out now...it would be too much of a pain in the ass to get all my stuff back.

Stupid Girl

I did something incredibly stupid today…I am talking really stupid. It is not something that I have done before and I am not sure why I did it today. I am not going to go into details about what I did because I don’t think I could handle the collective groan of disprovable that would surely escape readers. I guess the only reason I am writing about it at all is to in a way purge my soul of the act of stupidity. Somehow being extremely vague about it on the internet has made me feel better.

A letter of recommendation

Over the course of the four years I worked for my former boss Brian our relationship developed into more than just an employer / employee relationship. We became friends and he and his wife Robin welcomed me into their family. So when I asked Brian to write me a a letter of recommendation to help in my job search in Seattle I knew he would come through for me. And let me tell you he knocked it out of the park... To whom it may concern: Melinda worked for me on and off for a long time. She sort of quits a lot, but sometimes she does come back. Then sometimes she gets a job and will move shortly thereafter and quit. Other than that she definitely is scared of clowns. I would certainly recommend Melinda. Sometimes she has a positive personality and she is a good dancer. She is also tops when it comes to making birthday and greeting cards. It should be noted that Melinda has a pretty big cans as well! Sincerely, Brian X President Company Where I Used to Work

In the Meantime

I have a couple of go to songs that I latch on to when feeling out of sorts. This one is in heavy rotation right now. I don't know what it is but something about it makes me feel all floaty...I like feeling floaty.

They know best...

I have several people in my life who have taken it upon themselves to remind me constantly that they think that me moving out to Seattle with Boyfriend without a ring on my finger is a mistake. That I need to be protecting myself with some kind of guarantee. I had a ring on my finger once before...that was a guarantee right? Riiiiigggggghhhhhhhtttt. My mom commented to me last night that I was making a commitment to a man who was not making a commitment to me. After the day I had and after all the unsolicited advice I had gotten I just about lost my shit hearing those words. For fucks sake...I know I am taking a risk here. I don't need to be constantly reminded of it. I understand where all the advice givers are coming from don't get me wrong. It is pretty sad that the only person to be 100% behind me on this being a good move is my ex husband. Would it be smarter for me to not move out there until I found a job, had my own place and was able to support myself? Well...yes it would be. I know as a smart woman that those are ducks that I should have in a row. But on the other hand is there not something to be said for walking up to the edge and throwing yourself off having the faith that everything will work out okay? I have to say that there is because in the end there are no guarantees.

Less than 3 weeks from now

So I should be packing and carting things over to Boyfriend's house. I have my personal effects spread among 3 households. Somethings are at Boyfriend's, most things are in my ex husband's basement and my clothes and books are were I am living now. I am sure that Boyfriend has no idea just how much stuff I really have. The thought of getting everything I own into one place seems like an overwhelming task. I need to get my rear in gear though as Boyfriend is going to be moving all of our crap up north in 3 weeks. It turns out I am too lazy for that. I think this is a task best left for the last minute. That way I have an excuse to be an even bigger basket case about this move.